Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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