It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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