I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
