is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
