How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
