this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
