"it" just moved
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
