dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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