I just made out with a guy for $7.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
