ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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