Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
