Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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