And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
