hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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