We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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