He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
