so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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