He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
