there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
