I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
