I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
