So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
