My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
