I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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