You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
