I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sext me about skeletons
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
