If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
