There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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