quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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