He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
