My room smells like vodka and shame
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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