Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
