Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
