So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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