Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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