I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
