i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
