So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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