i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
