So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
