I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
