It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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