Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
