After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
