He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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