So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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