if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
