Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
