winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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