Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
