Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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