i don't like sucking hair
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
